Things I HATE (2008)

Shit- three days into the new year and my ass is already chapped by a few things.

Here is a short list of things that make me wanna scream:

The Iowa Caucuses:  Thank JEEBUS this thing will be the fuck over tonight.  I’m so sick and tired of election bullshit already that I can’t see straight.  I don’t care how the caucuses come out.  I don’t care about ANY of the candidates.  I don’t think there is any way that the best candidate can win because its all based on money and not integrity.  Our system is broken and this clusterfuck cauk-ass will demonstrate that to a tee.  Fuck all y’all.

The 2008 Election:  I’m pretty much done with the election at this point too.  The ONLY good point is that the fuckwad bush will be out of office one way or the other.  I’ll vote for whichever democratic candidate gets the nod, but I gotta say right now I’m wholeheartedly NOT impressed with either Clinton or Obama.  I don’t think either will be worth a fuck, and if elected they will be one-termers.

All things “Spears”:  This family should just be lined up and gunned down with an Uzi.  Seriously.  All of them.  Including Britney’s two brats and Jamie Lynn’s unborn seamonkey.  Somebody seriously needs to drain this gene pool– and then cap it with cement.

Dancing Mortgage Ads:  Does this ploy REALLY make anyone want to borrow money from them?  If I’m gonna go into debt in this fucked-up housing market, I am NOT going to do it with someone who uses cheesy dancing aliens to demonstrate their “low low rates”.

Reality TV:  I know the writers are on strike, but enough is enough already.  How much more Battle-of-the-Dancin’-Idol-Choir-Survivor-D list Celebrity-Pageant tv shit must we be forced into watching?  Its bad enough that I’m sucked into Project Runway– but at least these people have to compete with some sort of talent.  Most other shows seem to promote the talentless (Sanjaya, Marie Osmond, Omarosa, etc).  I say enough already.

Global Warming:  Gasp!  How unPC of me to say this, but you know what?  Fuck it.  I’m gay.  I don’t have kids.  I’m almost 40.  Fuck the planet.  Signs already point to the fact that we are past the tipping point.  So what do I care if the next generation dies off because all animal life burns up (or conversely the ocean currents stop and we plunge into a new ice age and everyone has to live in ice caves)? I mean, social security isn’t gonna support me in 30 years and my 401K probably won’t last long… so why stress about the goddamn planet?

New Orleans:  The fucking city is built right next to the ocean– in a big hole.  And yet we keep pouring money into keeping the place open.  Who in the world thinks this is a good idea??  Sometimes its better to just cut your losses and start over, you know?  What with rising sea levels and stronger hurricanes, I give the Big Easy about five more years before they are wiped out again.  In the mean time, I truly hope all the nice people who live there (and who read my blog) move to someplace that ISN’T below sea level.

The Islamic Religion:  I’m so tired of your ass.  Seriously.  You have militant factions.  You promote suicide bombing, wars, threats, terrorism.  You hate America and the West.  Well, fuck off.  I grow weary of hearing about you and your latest hate-mongering.  And don’t think that I hate you just because I’m an American– because I hate the Christians and Jews just as much… only they don’t suicide bomb as much.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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19 Responses to Things I HATE (2008)

  1. Howard says:

    Wow, that’s a lot of hate. I sometimes wonder why I worry about things with our short-life spans. There are plenty of others doing everything they can to live as hedonistically as possible before they kick the bucket taking as many out or stepping on as many as possible while they still last.

    Then I think, “I’m too busy to be an ass.” Others can have that hobby.

  2. Gavin says:


  3. joe to hell says:


    i love when i find someone who hates as much as me
    only i hate america, which sorta puts me with the muslims. but i like the idea of it….the execution just blows

  4. Glenn says:

    New Orleans?! Oh, but no.

    I thought that – two years after the fact – it was finally accepted by everyone that New Orleans flooded as a result of the failure of our Federally-maintained levees. Not unlike a certain bridge in Minnesota that collapsed a few months ago. Are we going to be expected to foot the bill for that. Hey there’s a river there. God put it where it is to keep you on your side and to keep those other people on theirs.

    People in New Orleans who read your blog aren’t going to be leaving. Man, we came back. New Orleans is a home. There is no place else in the world with its particular quality of life, its diversity, its outlandishness, its color, its freedoms, its living history, its joy.

    Where else can you create a mosaic on your automobile with Mardi Gras beads and a hot glue gun? Where else can you ride through the rain naked on your bicycle the day after Christmas? Where else can you dance on the street on a Tuesday evening just because there’s music playing somewhere?

    Come down and visit, cb. We’ll put you up at Dave’s. Come down and pass a good time. You’ll never regret it.

  5. Dave says:

    Nuh uh. After what you just wrote, no way you’re crashing at my place.

  6. Mark says:

    I feel (and share) your pain!

    Mark 🙂

  7. Jeff says:

    You’ve got balls! And I love it!

  8. RG says:

    Are your hemorrhoids flaring? Who put the sand in your lube today? I have my moments but jeesh CB, lighten up.

    And as far a New Orleans, I believe that the good people of Amsterdam would disagree with your assessment about a city built below sea level. What needs to happen is for the Federal Government to keep its fucking promises and rebuild the city. It is nothing short of genocide to what has happened there. It’s a unique American city with a special soul all it’s own.

    Dave, since CB won’t be staying with you, can I take the extra bed?

  9. Matt says:

    Wow. Someone pissed in your cheerios.

  10. Rich says:

    CB…there is some bee in your bonnet today, baby. Oddly enough, I did chuckle reading today’s entry…ok, until the New Orleans part…that went over like a fart in church.

  11. atomicpop! says:

    this bee has been in his bonnet for the past few weeks – it will subside… and besides, i know for a fact he care’s about the planet – otherwise he couldn’t possibly be friends with me. 🙂

    he’s just being contray folks – it’s an artform as far as cb is concerned… he does raise a couple of good points, including: can i just say i’m in complete agreement about the spears clan. i mean really – stop the madness.

    glenn, great analogy to the bridge – i hadn’t ever put those two together. nicely said. (hell if i could figure out a way to make a living in new orleans, i’d be there in a second, it’s my third favorite city in the country).

  12. atomicpop! says:

    oh, and there are plenty – PLENTY of hate-mongering factions in the christian religion – most in our own back yard. and their bomb’s just blow up clinics and gay-bars.

  13. Ray Ray says:

    No, don’t hold back…how do you REALLY feel about the state of affairs today in America? LOL. Great post. Love the new Becks pic up top. Mmmmmmmmm…

  14. tsk says:

    The Islamic religion does not promote hate. It is being misinterpreted and used by extremists. That was extremely offensive and typically close-minded of an American to say! This is why the entire world hates America now.

  15. Ray says:

    Sounds like you haven’t been eating from those bowls enough grasshopper.

  16. dirkmancuso says:

    “Jamie Lynn’s unborn seamonkey.”


    As for the New Orleans comment…oooooh, I knew you were gonna get the comments there. Personally, after that disaster and the government’s piss poor handling of it, I wouldn’t want to risk a rerun of that by moving back. But that’s just me.

  17. Donnie says:

    Sometimes, ya just gotta vent your frustrations. As a fellow GGM (Grumpy Gay Man), I support your right to say whatever you want. This is still a free country (no matter how hard Bush & Cheney want to change that).

  18. Bob says:

    Someone needs to get fucked!

  19. Steve Kubick says:

    Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!!!

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