Shit- three days into the new year and my ass is already chapped by a few things.
Here is a short list of things that make me wanna scream:
The Iowa Caucuses: Thank JEEBUS this thing will be the fuck over tonight. I’m so sick and tired of election bullshit already that I can’t see straight. I don’t care how the caucuses come out. I don’t care about ANY of the candidates. I don’t think there is any way that the best candidate can win because its all based on money and not integrity. Our system is broken and this clusterfuck cauk-ass will demonstrate that to a tee. Fuck all y’all.
The 2008 Election: I’m pretty much done with the election at this point too. The ONLY good point is that the fuckwad bush will be out of office one way or the other. I’ll vote for whichever democratic candidate gets the nod, but I gotta say right now I’m wholeheartedly NOT impressed with either Clinton or Obama. I don’t think either will be worth a fuck, and if elected they will be one-termers.
All things “Spears”: This family should just be lined up and gunned down with an Uzi. Seriously. All of them. Including Britney’s two brats and Jamie Lynn’s unborn seamonkey. Somebody seriously needs to drain this gene pool– and then cap it with cement.
Dancing Mortgage Ads: Does this ploy REALLY make anyone want to borrow money from them? If I’m gonna go into debt in this fucked-up housing market, I am NOT going to do it with someone who uses cheesy dancing aliens to demonstrate their “low low rates”.
Reality TV: I know the writers are on strike, but enough is enough already. How much more Battle-of-the-Dancin’-Idol-Choir-Survivor-D list Celebrity-Pageant tv shit must we be forced into watching? Its bad enough that I’m sucked into Project Runway– but at least these people have to compete with some sort of talent. Most other shows seem to promote the talentless (Sanjaya, Marie Osmond, Omarosa, etc). I say enough already.
Global Warming: Gasp! How unPC of me to say this, but you know what? Fuck it. I’m gay. I don’t have kids. I’m almost 40. Fuck the planet. Signs already point to the fact that we are past the tipping point. So what do I care if the next generation dies off because all animal life burns up (or conversely the ocean currents stop and we plunge into a new ice age and everyone has to live in ice caves)? I mean, social security isn’t gonna support me in 30 years and my 401K probably won’t last long… so why stress about the goddamn planet?
New Orleans: The fucking city is built right next to the ocean– in a big hole. And yet we keep pouring money into keeping the place open. Who in the world thinks this is a good idea?? Sometimes its better to just cut your losses and start over, you know? What with rising sea levels and stronger hurricanes, I give the Big Easy about five more years before they are wiped out again. In the mean time, I truly hope all the nice people who live there (and who read my blog) move to someplace that ISN’T below sea level.
The Islamic Religion: I’m so tired of your ass. Seriously. You have militant factions. You promote suicide bombing, wars, threats, terrorism. You hate America and the West. Well, fuck off. I grow weary of hearing about you and your latest hate-mongering. And don’t think that I hate you just because I’m an American– because I hate the Christians and Jews just as much… only they don’t suicide bomb as much.