Making Holiday Memories

The holidays always seem to be the time for making new memories.  Here are two.

Kyle and I went to see the Golden Compass the other week.  While in line for refreshments prior to the flick, we were stuck behind a mom and her two daughters.  It could have been an Aunt watching the two girls or some other sort of caregiver, I don’t know.  What I do know is that the line was moving VERY slowly and the girls were NOT well behaved.

Gosh I love naughty children around the holidays.

Anyway, each time the girls acted up, the mom/caregiver would admonish the girls with a “That isn’t the type of behavior that Santa wants to see.”  Yeah, the old ‘naughty list’ threat.  She kept it up saying, “if you two don’t behave, Santa won’t bring you any presents” yadda yadda yadda.

Well, after about the fourth or fifth iteration of this, I turned to Kyle and said in a low, satanic-ish voice, “Santa’s DEAD.”

I figured I had whispered it, so that only he could hear it.  Or at the very least the lobby noise would provide adequate cover.  When I turned back around, I saw this frozen look of horror on the mom/caregiver’s face.  It was that mouth closed but eyes REALLY BIG look.

She wasn’t looking at me, but I could tell she had heard my comment.  I think she was trying to figure out if the girls heard.


The second memory has to do with the Bear Beer Bust that I attended last Friday night.

I don’t know how it is in other cities, but the Bears in Minneapolis appear to be a very cliquish and distrusting group.  They most definitely aren’t like the bears at Yellowstone that just come right up to your car windows.  The bears here just hang in their individual groups (like the twinks) and quietly judge you.

Anyway, I saw a rather tall bear come in wearing a purple Northwestern scarf.  It didn’t match his ensemble, so I figured he might have gone there… as did I.  I vowed to chat with him about it later.

While filling up my fourth or fifth beer (4 to 5 seems to be a theme with me), the ScarfBear wandered up to the tap.  Since I’d had a few, I took this as my opportunity to ask him about the scarf.  And I did it in my best, “I figure you went to NU so I’ll razz you about it and test your conversational finesse” way.

cb (with a smile in his voice and twinkle in his eye):  Heeeeeeey!  Northwestern!  So why you wearing that ugly, goddamn Northwestern scarf anyway?

Scarfbear:  —- stony silence—-

cb:  Aaaaannnnnd?

SB:  Because its warm.

cb:  Any other reason?

SB: (pause with bad smell face expression) No.

Then he turns to go back to his clique of bears.  So I mumbled to his back, “Oh, because I actually WENT there, and if you had I might have thought you were COOL or something.”


The more I thought about it, the more incensed I became.  This tall, fat, ugly ass bear was blowing ME off like that?  What’s THAT all about?

I bitched about it for quite some time to Tim and his friends.  I was even threatening (after I’d had a few more beers) to go up to that troglodyte and say, “Hey Northwestern…. you’re a BIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH.”

Happy Holidays.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Making Holiday Memories

  1. atari_age says:

    OMG, you have a real mean streak, eh? LOL

    Now, um, on the Bear thing… it is possible that he thought you were actually insulting him about his “ugly” scarf. I’d probably have thought the same thing.

  2. cb says:

    I looked him square in the eye and was smiling and sparkly. Plus the snarkiness was my test– if he had stood up for the school and thrown it back in my face, he would have been cool.

    But alas… he was just a big ugly bear.

  3. voenixrising says:

    I see I’m not missing a THING by not going out to bars…

  4. Mark says:

    Ah, lovely heartwarming Christmas memories indeed!

    The ‘Santa is dead’ comment seriously funny though. I’d have laughed out loud if you’d whispered it to me.

    Too bad about the cliques. Don’t people understand how UN-friendly that is? I bet you’re even CUTER AND FUNNIER when you’ve had 4-5 beers! How could they resist???

    Mark 🙂

  5. John says:

    “The bears here just hang in their individual groups (like the twinks) and quietly judge you.”

    Like everywhere, then.

  6. Gavin says:

    Northwestern guy is the same type that goes home alone after crying in his beer that he’ll never find a bf because he’s fat and ugly. No, my dear, you’ll never find a boyfriend because you’re an asshole.

  7. Ron says:

    Well I just got done reading all of your entries to date and I find your blog entertaining. And not entertaining in a “hey, look at that dog with three legs kind of way.” I mean more, like, “hey, that’s a cool party trick” kind of way. But, moreso, I suppose the word “entertaining” doesn’t sound right at all. Nevermind. I found it interesting.

  8. RG says:

    My, my, my – I see attitude is universal. What a pig.

  9. Rich says:

    I am sure those little girls will get over the comment with enough therapy over the next 9-10 years. They’ll just never know why watching a movie and eating Goobers in the dark triggers such feelings of emptiness and disappointment. 🙂

    And any bear worth his salt would be able to deal with the banter. If you lost him at scarf…imagine the rest of the conversation.

  10. Jason says:

    You’re such a trouble maker!

  11. Donnie says:

    LOL. You’re terrible….and I love that. *wicked grin* 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s