Whoa- that’s a large one

So, the boy and I have another date this coming Saturday.

We technically had two dates this past weekend: one Friday night into Saturday day, and then one Saturday night into early Sunday. Both were fun and good. So much so that we have thrown caution to the wind and we are doing it again this Saturday.

The boy– whom we shall call Steve (for that’s his name) is actually having a birthday today. However, he will be celebrating it on Friday with his friends. This may preclude an early get-together on Saturday, as I bet he will be hanging just a bit.

Speaking of ‘hanging’…

Since its his birthday, and I really have only just met him, I am in a bit of a pickle as to what to get him. If anything. Technically I think it is bad form to ignore the birthday completely, so I already sent an eCard (hallmark- when you care enough to send the very best but don’t care enough to pay for it) and wished him happy birthday on the phone (last night). But my thought is that I should give him something a bit more personal for his birthday. And well, I was thinking it should maybe be… for lack of a better term…

my buttcunt.

The only problem is I’m a bit nervous about how it will go. You see, the boy doesn’t just have a package… its really more like ‘cargo’. And even though my nickname is Whorina Slutskaya, I still have managed to keep things relatively snug down there.

And when I say ‘snug’ I really mean water tight.

So, if anything is going to happen and happen well, I will need to do a bit of extra prepwork. This prepwork will most likely include me getting somewhat drunk, and then hooking up a popper intravenous drip of some sort. Also I’ve heard about anal numbing creams… perhaps those are in order?

Regardless, I will NOT be doing any bikeriding for a few days afterward, I’m sure.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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9 Responses to Whoa- that’s a large one

  1. Gay Canuck in the Capital says:

    you totally can’t call the top the boy. it’s wrong wrong wrong.

  2. cb says:

    Well, if i called him “the man” it would sound like I was channelling some afro-american angst. Or conceding power to him.

    He’s kind of boyish, so ‘the boy’ works. Or steve.

    And who says he’s THE top???

  3. Dave says:

    Aw, dude! My mom reads this blog!

  4. Ray says:


    My mom reads it too.


  5. kevin says:

    Man prepare yourself well. Just apply a bigger seat to your bike next week so you dont accidently swallow it when you go over a bump.

    As for having a good night, you go for it sister!!

    By the way, how old is this cargo ship of yours, i dont think you’ve mentioned his age. Is he 20???

    Love ya,
    Kev in NZ

  6. Kevin says:

    Oh please, you can fit a family of four in that thing …

    Water tight … more like the Poseidon Adventure.


  7. Jim says:

    I was thinking all night about this dilemma. Maybe I am being all Polly Prudence, but isn’t giving up the buttcunt after a week quick?

    How about a nice birthday handy? Or even better, you could give him a him a fantastic hummer with a happy ending.

    I guess I am a prude, but also being a water tight kind of queen, I thought this might be a nice alternative – you know until you hook him for life.


  8. durban bud says:

    Holy shit — that was funny. Buttcunt? I enjoy that term. I believe you have tipped me off to that word before.

    I agree with Jim – keep your cherry for at least a few weeks if you really like him.

    As for the bday – ecard is good and maybe a real card with a personal note. I don’t think you need to buy a present at this point.

    As for his partying – try doing something together where alcohol is not involved. If he cannot do w/o it for a period of time – then you know it will be an issue down the road, but, for now, be casual and patient with him.

  9. foxy-contin says:

    “even though my nickname is Whorina Slutskaya”

    and just where did you pilfer that name?

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