I’m in trouble.

And no, i’m not pregnant (as if!)

I think I’m in trouble with this whole ‘date thing’ that is happening this friday with the cute guy from the naughty website that I started chatting with last weekend when I was bored and horny.

Oh, yes- there is a time and a place set for this “date”. And I’m already stressing about it.

We’ve chatted a few more times and he is really easy to talk to. We laugh quite a bit over the phone, and joke around incessantly. He can quote the movie “the Color Purple” front to back (yikes, so can I!) and he dropped a little gem from the movie “Serial Mom” on me last night that really made me chuckle (I’m a sucker for obscure movie quotes and pop cultural references).

To use a sports analogy– I think I’ve punted past my coverage.

Oh, and we may or may not have traded a few more pictures too (yowza!). Let me put it this way– he’s 6’3″ and lanky… and we ALL know what that means!

And thus I begin to stress.

Actually, my stressing started last night during our phone conversation while I was stuffing myself with Edy’s Girl Scout Cookie ice cream. We set the time (6:30 pm), date (Friday), place (Brasa, a brazillian steakhouse bar- with option for food).


What am I going to wear? I have to look put together, but not TOO put together. You know? I can’t look as if I tried too hard, but like I still tried. And this isn’t exactly a burger joint, either.

I have no good clothing to wear, as all my clothing gets worn to work and I work in a smelly, oily environment. Plus I have no decent black clothes in which to hide my fatness (other than the caftan, but its at the cleaners!)

I will have to wear boots of some kind, to compensate for the 3 inches of height difference, but the only decent boots I have are brown. This naturally requires a brown belt- all of which will definitely negate my ability to wear anything black.

I have an ingrown hair in my goatee that is creating a beautiful, subterranean behemoth of a zit. I hope it doesn’t take over my entire lower jaw by friday.

I recently shaved my head (well, buzzed it anyway) and now I regret that decision as I no longer have any hair to style for this date. And it would have been nice to work some good hair product (ostensibly to draw attention upward, away from zitzilla).

See? I’m in trouble.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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7 Responses to I’m in trouble.

  1. Kevin says:

    Oh man … if you lived here I’d totally go shopping with you and hook you up. But you don’t. So good luck.


  2. Ray says:

    Yes – you’re in trouble. Stop worrying about all this silly shit Chris. Be yourself, dress stylish and comfortably, and laugh all night long.

    If he’s impressed with who you are, that should be enough to start.

    Seems stupid to say but I’ll say it anyway.

    Oh – don’t eat too much.

  3. rich says:

    if you are half as cool in person as you are on your blog, you really have nothing to worry about. if your phone dates are better than in person, just call him on your cell from across the table when it gets uncomfortable … 🙂

  4. kevin says:

    Oh dam you are in trouble arent you!!

    Just wear what you want to wear and make him accept you as you are. As for the zit, just say that it is a solar panel charging up your 11 incher! 😉

    Have a great night and i really wanna hear all about it.

    Kev in NZ

  5. cola boy says:

    Sounds like you really like this guy to be all worried about everything. If he’s as easy to talk to you as you say I’m sure he will like you, too.

  6. BRETTCAJUN says:

    I am sure you’ll be fine. I would never try “romance” after pigging out at a Brazillian restaurant though! I am always too full (I’m a foodwhore) to roll over to the other side of the bed. (LOL)

  7. Donnie says:

    Whoa…take it easy! Deep breaths…“in with the good air, out with the bad air”.

    You’ll be fine, CB. I’m sure it’ll go well. Can’t wait to hear all about it.

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