Okay- so I’m stuck at work on a Saturday. Every year we get the absolute joy of doing physical inventory where I work. This entails counting every raw good, manufactured piece, etc that we have in the whole facility.
Basically this task sucks ass.
However, this year I got the good fortune to work with two of the five men that I have crushes on (Kyle and Chad).
These guys are hotter than Hades… but in a redneck way.
They are both in their later 20’s, both married, both have big arms and chests with slight beer guts, both have goatees, both are wearing worn-out baseball caps with creased bills, and both have southern accents as thick as molasses.
Seriously, these dudes give me a boner. And they are on my inventory team all day long.
We’ve been joking and laughing and calling each other fucker and bitch all day. Ragging on each other’s moms. I told one of them that he was whining so much it sounded like he needed to go wash the sand out of his vagina. (You know, the typical straight boy foreplay).
Its so much fun for me! Plus Kyle knows I’m gay and he’s cool with it. In fact, he gives me shit all the time about it– but in that joking, acceptance way. Its worse when they avoid all sexual humor with you because they are skittish about your gayness. Kyle just embraces it and will say things like, “you get some bad dick last weekend or what?” Shit like that. And natually I throw in jokes about him tapping his wife’s pussy with his teeny percker.
All in all, inventory could have been a lot worse. Of course, the day isn’t over.