49 is just fine!

49 States that is.

So, ever since the election there had been a lot of hullabaloo about Texas wanting to secede.

I say let ‘em.

Texas is basically “North Mexico”, only controlled by bigoted assholes. Other than oil, the state’s biggest exports are cheerleaders, stupid presidents, and backward textbooks.

Seriously, other than Austin, the state is pretty much a waste.

Tex-ass is also a huge drain on our tax dollars. They suck up tons of federal funding, which is basically the height of irony, don’t you think?

However, the powers that be say the Lone Scar State is rich enough, what with their oil and all, to be their own nation.

Of course that means they’ll have to “Nationalize” (I.e. governmentally own) all their oil resources. I wonder how the oil companies and owners will cotton to that Socialism?

But if Texas is still hellbent on leaving, I say they put it to a vote for all its residents. But I also recommend as part of the ballot asking them to spell “secede”.

If they get it wrong, it counts as an extra vote to leave.

Of course, if they do vote to form their own Republic, then we would just need them to write us a check for their part of the national debt before leaving.

We’ll just wait for it to clear.

In the mean time, we can have a flag redesign contest. The easiest solution would be to go back to 48 stars (we could always make Alabama a parting gift.)

Or we could finally make Puerto Rico a state and maintain the 50 Stars.

Either way, I think the United States would be much better off without its biggest divider.

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Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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5 Responses to 49 is just fine!

  1. AB says:

    Wow – Houston reader here – where is all of this hostility coming from – we have more to offer than Austin – LOL I am not a native Texan and I will be the first to state that we have our faults and more than our fair share of idiots – and coming from the midwest – Minnesota could also be in the running for some major Darwin Awards. I am surprised by the post – you are usually very open minded about such things – where is the hostility coming from.
    (Side note — we “aint” taking Alabama!!!)

    • shamansmith says:

      Alabama reader here who has worked in both Houston and Austin: Houston sucks. We build things like the space station in my state.

      • AB says:

        How in the hell can you say Houston sucks – I work DT but live in the burbs – there is a lot going on here that is positive. Congrats on the space station — but you only are developing a component — we are developing several components for the project – as well as several other states and countries for that matter – you got anything else you can impress us with??

  2. Texas, certainly, isn’t the only state covered in stupid. Idiots in about nineteen other states are signing petitions to “succeed”, too.

  3. truthspew says:

    Yes, if any of them actually do secede I’d love it to be Texas. Just think of everything they’d give up, all the military presence, all the highways, all the state aid, school aid, etc. No more NOAA feeds to warn of hurricanes. No more DEA, border patrol, FBI, etc. Nothing – it would all have to come from the STATE not the Federal Government. That would be too funny for words.

    Friends and I were talking about it this past weekend. One theory is that the rich will try to crush the poor and minorities even further. But I said if we simply implement an open arms policy and let them emigrate out of Texas there would be such a drain on their economy they’d just crater.

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