Again- lots of great entries about Dolly’s… Entry.
Honorable mention to Gavin for the most shock enducing with his “plates in the lips like the national geographic balck chicks” comment.
But the winner is Kevin over at the Lisp– for providing a caption that came out of left field.
Forgive me Red Sox, for I have sinned. I have lust in my heart for a Yankee. A Yankee CATCHER, no less! But he is cute enough to deserve a Senryu:
Sexy Yankee sneer
You aren’t Jason Varitek
But you’ll do nicely.
He seems to have that sneer perfected.
Damn, but I DO love those handles he’s sporting!
Do these pinstripes make my ass and thighs look beef-a-licious??
This is a diet update: yes, I am still a Fatty McFatterton. A chub. A fatty fatty two by four.
But slightly less so.
I got on the scales at the gym last night and discovered that I am roughly 10 lbs lighter than I was a few weeks ago.
Suck on THAT, Wii Bitch!
I must admit that I’ve been ‘feeling’ thinner, and I’ve gained a notch on my belt. But the numerical validation is cetainly nice.
Personally I think it should be more of a loss, given my diet changes and my increased workouts. But any little bit helps.
Plus I’ve been lifting more weights and doing more pushups, so maybe some of the fat is being replaced with muscle.
Dare to dream, right?
The bad news in all of this is that I most certainly will not hit my goal weight by the time I am scheduled to visit Paris.
Many of you I’m sure will be nice and say encouraging things about my progress, etc and that I will look just fine in Paris.
Thank you for that in advance.
But you must understand, I’ve been dreaming of returning to Paris for probably 20 years now. And it’s been on my new years resolution list for the past 10.
Twenty years is a long time to envision yourself in a place and to fantasize about how it will go.
I have clear visions of myself walking down a sunny champs elysee. Sitting at a sidewalk cafe eating pain au chocolat and reading– just like in a movie. Photographing the rooftop gargoyles at Notre Dame.
And in none of these visions am I “heavy”.
Okay, and I must also admit to envisioning turning the heads of a few hot Frenchmen, with my American ass swagger.
I pictured something like a Sasson jeans commercial, where the guys slide down their sunglasses and say “Ooo la la!” as I pass by.
Don’t judge me- it’s just a fantasy after all.
But all those thin French men are not going to go mad for this cow.
I still have 23 days or so to work on myself. I’ll lose a bit more and tone up some before I go.
I’m just disappointed that the real me won’t quite live up to the expectations of the fantasizes me.
Ok… BIG disclaimer, here.
This is a NAUGHTY post that contains a LOT of adult male nudity.
I mean a LOT.
Not MY nudity… heavens no. But a seriously large amount of nudity nonetheless.
Disclaimer over.
This weekend I finally got the Big Penis Book in the mail. I’d ordered it awhile ago, but sort of forgot about it since I sent it “super saver shipping”.
The fucker is HUGE– like a foot square. Here’s a pic of it (again… disclaimer):
Yes- even the book dimensions are quite impressive.
I spent a large chunk of the weekend perusing this tome and was really impressed. There are a LOT of well endowed men featured. Lots of porn stars. John Holmes, Jeff Stryker, Glen Steers, Rick Donovan and a host of others. But I’m sure you’ve all seen them before (wink wink). The book has like 300 pages… that’s a lot of cuntwreckers!
So I decided to take a few pictures of ones that caught my eye. And I’m going to share them with you right now.
First off– I KNOW y’all wanted to take a peek inside the underwear on the front cover. So here you go.
Whoa. Oh yes. That’s impressive. But it doesn’t end here… oh no.
Tuesday’s child is full of grace… right Mr. Lisp?
“My anaconda don’t want none…” Seriously. Dude. It’s at thick as your forearms.
I think this one would do. Oh yes… he’d do nicely.
Does this payphone make my cock look fat?
This one is my personal favorite. Not only does he have an impressive unit, but he’s cute as the dickens! (Yes, I went there… and I’d do it again.)
Holy shit. REALLY?? It’s to his fucking KNEES!! It looks like its made of warm silly putty. Either that or he’s Stretch ArmCock.
And finally… the One. The ONLY. The Freak of Nature… Long Dong Silver. Holy Christ! It’s always the skinny ones, isn’t it?
And yes. Mr. Silver can actually “tie it in a knot”.
I know my original Penis Size category scale went up to 9+ with “Pro Series”, but after seeing some of these members, I think it needs to be amended. Evidently there is one more category out there.
And it’s “Are you KIDDING me with that thing?”
This weekend was one of the Saint Paul famous “Art Crawls”. Or as I like to say… Ahrt.
One of the cool things about living in Lowertown Saint “P”, is that I am surrounded by artist lofts and studio space, etc. There are young (and old) artists everywhere down here– some even live in my building which can be kind of interesting. Unfortunately the downside is that the hallways tend to reek of potsmoke and desperation.
I have found some of my very favoritist new ahrtists in this neighborhood. I have previously posted pictures of some of my scores– like my kick ass coffee table (by Paris Renfroe), and my cool bumble bee oil painting (by Matthew Rucker).
Since Kyle was in DC this weekend, I had ’surrogate kyle’ for the day on Saturday (aka his boyfriend Matt). We hit the ahrt crawl and found tons of cool stuff. Here are the subsequent pictures:
Yes, the Ahrt Crawl was crawling with hot guys. STRAIGHT hot guys being all bored with their clingy, needy girlfriends. This particular one was F-I-N-E and kept tormenting me for about an hour as we were following the same crawl route. Seriously, his body WAS ahrt!
Yet another tormentor of mine was this one. Again straight with his girlfriend along. DAMN. I actually liked this one better than the first, and I thought he was to-die-for handsome. Scruffy, goateed, and with a big nose, too. Le sigh.
Further tormenting Matt and I (but not in a good way) was this guy. We nicknamed him “Crumbs”, as the first time we saw him he was smacking his lips loudly and had crumbs everywhere. We think he was just doing the ahrt crawl for all the free food that accompanies the displays. How unfortunate, right?
More unfortunate was the fact that this man turned up EVERYWHERE we were. We could usually hear him before we could see him because he was forever breathing out of his nose like a steam locomotive. Creepy!
Matt was kind enough to take a pic of me shopping for my new fat clothes. This is a life-sized paper dress. If you look closely, all the text is about body image stuff, and the big red circles say things like “chubby” and “pudgy”. Fitting, no?
But it wouldn’t be an ahrt crawl without me picking up a new piece of Ahrt. We happened across this lovely new artist called D.C. Ice. Go check out her website at www.sinsiterbutsweet.com . Her stuff is awesome in its creepiness. She works in many different media, but all her creations seem to have distorted mouths full of horrible teeth. And everything is quite dark and twisted. I LOVE it!
This is the piece I bought:
Its some sort of black scratchboard material that she etches with a razorblade. Then she uses acrylic paint… topped with eurythane to seal it. The cool thing about this is that the one on display had the bear eating a little girl. But some dude bought it right before I wanted to buy it. So the artist offerred to make another, and make it a little boy! How full of awesome is THAT??
So all it all, a good Ahrt Crawl!
The comix have landed.
I’ve given you an easy one this week, so raunch it out with yer captions!
Ok, this weeks captions were awesome. From everyone. Summers eve, tampon lifetime tv, panty shields references. New shoes and outfit comments.Oh, and a priceless reference to Demi Moore’s hair.
All awesome. And quite difficult to select a winner from.
But it was Tater who pushed the fourth wall with his comment. And anyone who knows me knows I love it when the 4th wall is messed with.
Congrats Tater! Now let others win, ok?
I’ve been doing a bit of new car shopping the past few weeks, and I suddenly had a revelation.
What if finding a guy to date was like buying a new car? How cool would that be?
Start with price. Always choose something in your budget. Sure a Mazeratti or a new 7-series would be awesome! But completely unaffordable in the long run and a bad idea.
And talk about High maintenance!
But don’t cheap out either. That beat up 1976 Charger might look hot, but it probably has a carfax history as long as your arm. And the reliability will always be questionable.
I’d choose something sporty and mid-level I think. Something with eye catching lines.
Also I’d opt for a model that was practical and extremely versatile. Gotta love flexibility of the internal configurations!
And if it has a large cargo area, even better!!
Next? Color. Yeah I know everyone says that color shouldn’t be important, but we all know it is.
Now for the trim level. I don’t know if I need a fully loaded model, but I sure wouldn’t turn it down if the price was right. At the very least I want it nicely equipped.
A good sound system is a must for keeping me entertained. Especially one that will accept my iPod.
How about leather? Well, leather can be very nice, but it tends to be hot in the summer and cold in the winter. A practical cloth interior will do me fine.
Seat heaters to get my bum all toasty would be nice, though.
All-wheel drive would be great too. It really helps keep things on the right track when the going gets rough.
Last but not least, I’d do my best to avoid a guzzler. I prefer cars that don’t need juice before going out and having a good time.
What about you? Any options or models that you would choose?
I’m sick today.
Sore throat. Achy. Feverish.
But I’m at work.
You see, my company doesn’t believe in “sick days”. So unless I want to burn a vacation day and lay on a couch feeling like death, I tough it out at work.
Makes tons of sense, no?
I’ve been pushing myself rather hard lately– lots of workouts and less food. Gotta get thin, ya know?
And then yesterday I got sweaty and chilled on my outdoor speedwalk.
I’m so out of it right now. All I want to do is sleep. And make my throat stop hurting.
This day is gonna suck hard.
This is me after a 35 minute walk today in 50 degree weather with a 30mph wind.
Nice huh? Probably shouldve worn a tshirt…
