Britain’s Next _____ Model

I am emotionally conflicted by this new television program.

The BBC has once again outdone itself in creating “must see TV” by airing the new reality show “Britain’s Missing Top Model”.  And what are these models missing?

Apendages.

Yup.  Eight plucky girls (all with physical ’disadvantages’ of some sort) are vying to become the next big attraction model.  To get an idea of what I’m talking about, here’s the intro clip for the show:

I never would have known about this had not Add-mmm clued me in over at Imageyenation.  And I gotta say… this concept mildly fascinates me, but even more it creeps me out.

Yes, I know I’m not being especially politically correct here, but does anyone find this concept truly alluring?  Other than in a flaming car-wreck sort of way, I mean?

And I’m not talking about you amputee fetishists out there that are into getting buttpunched by a stump arm… or leg.  Y’all are a special subset of society and I give you props for that.

No, I’m speaking to the watchers of America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway and the like.  Do you really think this concept works other than as sort of a twisted publicity stunt for the differently-abled?

The unfortunate truth about modelling is that it is all about beauty, and beauty in human minds is equated with symmetry.  They’ve done psychological studies on this fact.

I’m not saying that these girls aren’t “beautiful” in certain ways, because they are.  But one thing they’re not is symmetrical.

I appreciate what they are trying to do, and I applaud what these women are doing by putting themselves out there.  I get it.  However, when I look at the pictures I can’t help but notice a certain “circus sideshow” feel about them.

And what happens to the winner?  Do you honestly think you’ll see her strutting the catwalk in a Victoria’s Secret fashion show?  Maybe a Heatherette show (if they still existed), but no other fashion house will touch them with a ten-foot cane.

No, the winner of this program will probably get a six-page spread in “Prostetics Monthly” and that will be that.

Hmmm, there seems to be something missing… I just can’t seem to put my finger on it.

All things being equal, I think this model has a ‘leg up’ on her competition.

Yeah, that last comment was a bit cheeky, but also true.  I gotta believe you’d have an easier time hiding a prostetic leg during a photoshoot.  You can cheat to one side.  Or cross your legs.  And hell, a good skirt or dress will cover a lot.  But a missing arm?

Now that’s hard to airbrush.

But you know what’s even HARDER to airbrush out of a photo?