Prezzies from Europe

One of the bad things about being friends with Kyle (atomicpop!) is that he gets superbusy with work.  For half the year he’s always producing and managing shows all over the place so we don’t get to hang out much.

But one of the really good things about him being gone so much is the fact that when he returns I get prezzies!  Its kind of like when my Dad would travel and bring me back strange and exotic things like mexican jumping beans or herpes.  Only Kyle’s presents are totally funner!!!

I joke about the herpes.

Here is a picture of my haul from Kyle’s latest trip which included Berlin and Prague.

As you can see, he did well.  I got a Praha shirt (that’s how you pronounce Prague in “Praguish”), a German gay sex magazine, a hat from the sex museum, and a Bad Taste Bears collectible figurine!  Before he left I told him that I wanted lots of naughty, sexy presents- because that’s what the Germans are traditionally known for. 

First the hat: 

I’m so wearing this hat to the Eagle the first chance I get!  The hat is from the sex museum in Berlin (called Beate Unse or something).  It was right across the street from where Kyle spent most of his time– which, as I understand it, was some sort of leatherpig bath house. 

Once again I kid.  It was really an upscale fisting club.

Speaking of sex clubs… this was one of the ads in that homosex mag.  I like what they are doing on the stainless steel table in the top photo.  There were a couple of other ads in the magazine touting a Fuck & Fist party as well as a Lights Out Watersports party.

Silly Germans!  What’s the point of getting pissed on when you can’t even see who’s doing it?  Plus I have to imagine that your aim would suffer.

But my favorite prezzie by far was the Bad Taste Bears figurine.

Kyle chose well.  This was the last of the sports figurines– he actually made the museum take it out of the window for me!  (Kyle knows I love me some sportsmen!)

Sculpted above are Krunsch ‘n’ Tackle (Krunsch is the German player, Tackle is English).  There’s supposed to be an umlaut over the the “u”- just pretend that its there.

The quote on the box says:

When Krunsch comes in hard, use your skill to deal with is tackle.  Remember your ball control at all times.  We don’t want to hear the referree blowing because of a hand ball so keep moving the ball around.  Keep a tight grip on your game, always go for the ball and winning will be within your grasp.  Good luck boys!

I absolutely love the crotch grab!  And I love that the subject matter is multilevel:  showing disdain for the English, promoting German football, its sexual, and its rough.

This is NOT A TOY by the way (and not just because it was hand painted in China).  The box was very specific about this fact.  Its a collectable figurine, just one of a series.  There are actually tons of others– all doing naughty things like squeezing their penis in a vice or masturbating or wearing nipple clamps.

It would so go on my mantle, if I had a mantle.