Tell me this isn’t totally bitchin’

When I moved to Minnesota, I took the opportunity to do some much needed paring down of my life.  I probably got rid of a good half of my accumulated “stuff” and only kept the things that I really needed/wanted/meant something to me.

One of the things I kept was my bike.

I currently own a Giant Iguana (with the smoke chrome earth-killing paint job).  Its a mountain bike and its a sturdy fucker.  I bought it new back in 1991 when I started Grad School.  It was identical to one of my best friend’s bikes (because I had always coveted his).

While the bike is still excellent- it has some drawbacks.  For one thing its entirely made of steel and is heavy.  For another, it has no suspension components so the ride is rough.  And lastly, the damn thing won’t fit in a MINI Cooper, unless the top is down– and I’ll be DAMNED if I get a bike rack for my car.

This got me thinking (dangerous I know) about getting a new bike.

Aluminum technology has come a long way, so I could get one made of Aluminum!  With SHOCKS!!  And the cool, funky-angled, lower crossbar so I can avoid racking myself– FUCK YEAH!

And then I remembered this couple that I used to play volleyball with in NC.  They were very hippy-granola types and they had ‘foldable’ bikes that they rode absolutely everywhere.  Made by Bike Friday out in Oregon.  Cool fuckin’ bikes, and they folded up to where they could fit in a suitcase.

A foldable bike would work in my MINI just fine!  And how flippin’ cool, right??

Well, Bike Friday bikes cost roughly $1000 as it turns out.  For the BASE model.  Shit, like I can afford THAT.

But there are other foldable bikes out there– I did my research.  I am in love with this one; it won design awards and even comes in my signature color orange.  But it doesn’t appear to be available anywhere (other than Europe possibly) and I couldn’t figure out how to order it.  Plus you just know its expensive as shit:

Then I looked into Dahon.  They make a crapload of models and seem to get favorable reviews.  I found a couple freakin’ cool bikes on their website (all in the $700- $800 range unfortunately).  This one caught my eye though and I was nearly sold on it, until I realized it was a Chinese company and the paint would probably be lead based or something.

Did you know that there are even FULL-SIZE folding bikes out there??  I sure didn’t.  The coolest one of these looks to be the Montague Paratrooper.  In a camo green color, no less!  It is still in the running as it not only offers the benefits of a regular mountain bike (26″ wheels, sturdy frame, suspension, 18 or so gears) but it also folds into a compact 3 foot by 2 foot by 1 foot bundle which could fit in a MINI back seat.

But then I found “Downtube” bikes.  Made in America.  Much less expensive than other folders.  Tend to get okay reviews online.  And fairly cool looking to boot!  I started thinking (I know… again!) that if I’m gonna go with a fold-upable bike, why not go all the way and get the 20″ wheel crazy kind?

Its not like I’m an intense biker anyway– just exercise and exploring.  And this one would most DEFINITELY fit in my car… possibly even in the boot!

I think I may have found my bike.  It has alloy folding pedals, and a no-derailleur style gear shift mechanism.  Plus full suspension.  And the real benefit– the price.  I can get one of these babies for around $400.